Long time no write

Whooooaaa I haven't wrote in my blog in a freakin awhile. Kinda been busy getting myself ready for what God has for me. So far it's been good, but not easy. Alot of things have changed since I last wrote in my blog. Ever since I've told God "I give you my life, and it's dreams," He's been using and blessing me like crazy. I'm not the Praise and Worship leader for the youth. I pick out two or three songs and just sing ya know...lead. It's not easy ya know, I've been told I have a nice voice, but I never sang in front of people, YOUNG people before. I'm slowly learning, and so are my other backs up, we'll get the hang of it soon. Ever since God has been using me, seems like the enemy has been attacking more than EVERRR. He puts thoughts in my head, uses people to get at me....you have no idea, just...he tries to use whatever he can to mess me up, and there's been times where he always did break me down, but God is always there to remind me to stay strong and keep focusing on him. I'm very excited to see what God has in stores, I know He's gonna do something, no not some, ALOT of great things.

The Spring Break that changed me forever...

Well, Spring Break is over...boooooooooo, but I'll tell you one thing, this was the Spring Break that broke me, and changed me. I didn't go far far away, or went to the beach, nothing like that. I spent 3 days at a Camp Meeting in Plainview, TX. They are a blessed church. Right when me and Jess stepped look in that place, we felt welcomed. People came up and talked to us, made us feel accepted. When it came to the serves and sessions, wow...God really showed His power every single night, but one night...it was so heavy on me. So Heavy, I couldn't speak or even stand up. Friday night was when God really tugged at my heart, and made me realize that enough is enough. I've been a youth leader for about 3 years now. I only held the title...sad to say. I truly believe that I could of done so much within those 3 years, but I didn't. I wasted 3 years. If I would of done my job right, Lord knows how things would of been, but God is a God of second chances. Friday night, we gave me that second chance. I know deep down inside my heart, that God has called me in the ministry. I gave total control of my life that night, I am no longer a servant to the world, but to my authorities and God. Where ever God wants me, I'll follow. It's not gonna be hard. Heh, I was thinking about that the other day right after I made that decision. I thought "Man...what did I get myself into?" but I thought about it, and if nobody is gonna go, if nobody is gonna stand up, I'll do it. Friday night all I could think about was my youth group and how it's slowly falling apart. They are the generation of today. There's dying youth out there, that need hope, that need love and the only person that has that is Jesus. I want what the enemy has taken away from us, our youth. Not only our youth, but church in general. Friday night, God really showed me how passionate I was for youth, and how much I really love my youth. God has blessed me with many many musical talents, and people seem to get very attached to me for some odd reason. Does God want me in the music ministry? Or Youth? What if both? The only way I'll know, is through prayer. Talking to God, and Him listening. There's times where I gotta be still, and just wait. Where ever God wants me to go, I'll go. No matter where that is, He's gonna be there with me. Thank you Lord : ]

Letting go...

We've all had our worst times. Some of us might even had a bad past, maybe EVERYONE has...including me. I had a ruff past growing up. Many times I asked God why would He put me in situations at a young age. Seemed like the older I got, the more problems came. I discovered new things and phases growing up. Some were good, most were bad. It wasn't until the internet first came out. I picked it up very quickly only at the age of 10. I started doing and seeing things that a normal 10 year old isn't supposed to see. Ever since then, it ruined my well being. Jr. High and High School, I didn't have much friends like I talked about in my other blog. The only friends I had were my church buddies. I started seeing my family fall apart bit by bit. When I was old enough to date, guys would use me, and hurt me in different ways. I got further and further from God, and wondered why I was going through so much pain and hurt. I started to question His power. The frustration built up, anger would bubble up quick, discouragement was like a tornado. I started to question God's excistance...until God started showing me all kinds of things. God put me through so much hell, because He knew it would make me only stronger. God put me in situations to not only show me a lesson, but so I can gain much wisdom. I had to make a tough decision today. It was time to let go of my past COMPLETELY. Everything. Nothing left. That's the only way I can go on with my life. I can't just let some things go, because at any moment, they can come right back, and show it's face. I had to let it go, ALL OF IT. I'm a new person now. My future is decided.

Life

What's the true meaning of life? Why are we here? Why am I here???
I was cleaning up some of my drawers, and came across this yellow folded paper. I opened it, and the title was "Why am I here?" I always seem to ask myself that every single day. I always seem to mess up, or something brings me down so quickly, why am I here? Why are you here?? Here's why...
-You/I are here because God made us
Job 10:10-12
Job 33:4
Psalm 100:3
God made us. He took time to create you. He knew you before you were even born! Why would a powerful and mighty God, take His time to create us knowing we were all gonna mess up at one point in time in our lives? Here's why...
-He has a plan for you and me
Ephesians 1:4-5
Ephesians 1:10
God isn't a God of accidents. He knows what He's doing. Everything that you've gone through or going through right now, it's for a purpose. It's His plan. Everything that you've gone through in your life, will one day come together and will make perfect since.
Whatever you've gone through wasn't for nothing, it was for a purpose.
Now that you know He has a plan for you, what does God want us to do?
1.) He wants us to get to know Him
How?
Through prayer and reading His word
2.) He wants us to become like Him
He made us into His image, our character should be like His.
3.) God wants us to practice being a servent
Matthew 20:28
Matthew 25:21
He wants us to serve others. It can't all be about ourselves. If we can serve from the smallest amount, God will reward us with an even bigger amount.
God wants us to share our life's purpose with others.(1 Corinthians 9:19)
Don't keep your blessing and testimony to yourself. Share it with others, once they see God moving in you, they will want that same desire.
WE'RE HERE TO BE GOD'S LIGHT!(Matthew 5:14-16)

Such a relief

God has been dealing with me for like the past month. First about letting go of my past, and learning to forgive people in my past, and always the ones that are in my life now. I've had a rough past, and it was hard letting go of it because sometimes I went to the past to comfort me. I would always question myself, and wonder why my relationship with God wasn't going anywhere. God confronted me, and I let go of my past. It is no longer apart of me. I knew if I kept running to the past, I would forget my future.
Sometimes forgiving someone can be hard. I know, trust me. I've had people backstab me and talk stuff about me and other things, but we gotta understand, if we don't learn to forgive and forget, that person/problem is ALWAYS gonna be in the back of our minds, and it's gonna bother us until we go to that person and tell them you forgive them, and hope they can forgive you as well. FORGET what they did, move on. As ya'll know, my best friend is Jessica. I cherish our friendship dearly. I cherish more than anything. My phone, computer, tv, xbox, drums, sometimes even cherish more than my parents. That's how much her friendship means to me. SHE means just as much. I love her with all my heart, but something bothered me and such anger and jealousy grew inside me. I felt that someone was trying to take my best friend away, and I felt like she didn't care if it happened. So much anger and frustration built up inside me, that I began to question our friendship. "Is she really my best friend?" "Does she care about us?" and so on. I even had anger towards that person, because I felt this person was trying to take my best friend away. Wednesday night, my youth pastor preached about Getting along with others, and somehow God lead him into forgiveness. I knew God was talking to me, and others as well. After service I HAD to talk to Jessica and tell her how I was feeling. I told her how I've been feeling...it was so hard, I started to cry. I asked her to forgive me, for all the bad thoughts I had in my mind. She forgave me. After telling her everything, I felt like a huge bus was off of my back. I'm back to normal. I'm not frustrated anymore, I'm not so easily angry. Guys, if you don't forgive and forget, that load is gonna be on you till you let it go. Learn to forgive others, if not, why should you be forgiven?

I'm trying!

I'm a firm believer in God. I believe He created this universe with His mighty hand, I believe all that and I know if He can created galaxy beyond galaxy, He can fix my small problems. It's amazing how doubt and worry can bring you down. Not only that, bring your faith down. I'm going through a worry problem I guess you could say. I'm NEVER worried! And right now I'm sooooooooooooo worried about this dumb problem. I feel unworthy because it's like I'm doubting the power of God. And it's crazy to know that someone can have all the faith in the world, and just by one single small problem, your faith goes lower than a flat tire. Ugh...I don't understand...I've never been the worry ward. I'm always the joyful person, the chilled person. Now I'm like the worried/stressed/frustrated person, and I HATE IT!! I know the answer to the problem, and that's just to leave it up to God, and I'm ashamed to say this but...it's hard. That problem is always gonna be in the back of my mind...I just want it allll to go away cuz it's messing up in the inside. I just gotta let go and let God, like the saying says.

Don't miss it!

I've been reading this book called "Crazy love" by Francis Chan. In this first chapter he tells me or "us" to go to crazylovebook.com and check out a video called "The Awe Factor." BLEW my mind away! It describes how BIG and POWERFUL God really is. He created this universe. Have you took time to actually take a good look at the universe. There are galaxies beyond galaxies! GOD CREATED ALL THAT, and yet when problems come we forget how BIG and POWERFUL He is. We treat the days that are given to us, like a normal day. No! It's not just a normal day. God gave you this day. He created everything within that day. You woke up on a world that spins 1,000 miles an hour! It's not a normal day. DON'T MISS IT! Live your life, and live it for His honor and glory.